No new PRs? No big friggin deal....

Yesterday, while out on a 20 miler, reality hit me like a Floyd Mayweather hook to the face.

"I probably will not hit a new PR from here out."

Now, I know what you are thinking....

"Self pity party for Ed time."

"Another self absorbed middle aged dude who finally figured out that no matter what the Rolling Stones say.... "Tiiiiiiiii-i-i-me AIN"T on his side."

"Oh, you have a bad day and now the glass is half empty."

And, now he is going to depressionblog about it...

None of the above actually.  

As I had a perfectly horrific slow run unfolding, I had a lot of time to think about the fact that I am slowing down and probably for good...

And?

I am actually okay with it.   My 47 year old body is not as fast as it used to be.  

I get it.  I am not able to defy time and gravity.   If so, I would be the first human being ever to actually get stronger and faster with time.  Last time I checked, there was not an S on my chest.

My recovery times are longer.  The diminishing spring in my legs is eerily a little like elastic that has been stretched out one too many times.  Getting up in the morning these days is a bit stiff and rough for the first few minutes.  Sitting in one position for a time causes me to cramp up.   I have to stand at the office a lot because keeping my legs bent hurts. 

No problem!

These are badges of honor.  Daily reminders of runs, bikes, swims, races, achievements and failures past.  Mental and physical medals for crossing a few finishing lines real and imagined.

The fact that I will unlikely beat my marathon PR (3:13), my Ironman PR (11:24) or my half marathon PR (1:31) really does not matter much to me. 

Why? 

I never raced to win. 

I never raced to PR.

I race to be my best self at that moment in time.  I race because I enjoy the effort of training.  I race because I love the feeling of community of like minded people.   I race because of the feeling of anticipation at the start line.  I race to feel the elation of finishing.  I race because I love the feeling of happypain that ONLY a full days effort at an Ironman or ultra distance run can inflict. 

Those things will not change, whether I am 35 and running my first marathon or 85 and finishing first in my age group at Ironman Arizona and earning a spot at Kona.

PR?  If it happens again?  Great.  If not? No big friggin deal....