Sunday, May 8, 2011

Napoleon Dynamite's Uncle

I was talking to my friend Carolyn the other day.  We were chatting about her upcoming race schedule, my ongoing recovery and how our collective sports related aches and pains were doing.  She mentioned that she ran into a "husky" guy at the doctors office on her last visit.   They chatted and he, upon learning Carolyn was a triathlete, mentioned that HE was an Ironman.  Carolyn was laughing as she told me that the guy finished the " I am an Ironman..." sentence with "but that was obviously quite a few pounds ago".  

The image of Napoleon Dynamite's Uncle (What?  You have not seen Napoleon Dynamite?  Go to Netflix and get it right now!) living his past glory days as the quarterback of some small town football team came to my mind. 

Visions of one potential version of my own future vividly flashed before my eyes. 

"I remember back in ought 6 when I did two Ironmen...".

"Back in 2011, I tried running across the U.S....."

"Ohhh, you think that was bad?  Back in 2007 I ran 67 miles on a mountain in cold pouring sleet/rain with 25,000 feet of elevation.  Mountain goats couldn't keep up....."

Meanwhile, my IPA fed stomach is serving as a shelf for a plate of nachos.   The grand-kids eyeballs roll back into their bored heads as they wish they were anywhere but talking to me.
I don't want to be that guy.  

Reliving my several Ironman finishes, my (ultimate...stay tuned) completion of running across the US and crazy stupid mountain ultras when I am 65 years old... nursing what appears to a soccer ball underneath my stretched out "Beastie Boys 2020 World Tour" T-Shirt.  

Ick.  Kill me now.

My hope is that I am talking about how I plan on being at Kona as the top seeded 66 year old male...and where I am going to put my "25" tat on top/bottom/side of the M-dot celebrating my 25th Ironman....instead of reliving some past that never really was all that spectacular!

No Napoleon Dynamite's uncle for me!

1 comment:

  1. Cracking up over here.


    For what it's worth, this guy was in PT for hurting his shoulder while reaching for something in the attic.